And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
