this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
