they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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