Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Randomize