and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
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