I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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