she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
