Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
