Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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