You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize