i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I am naked and annoyed.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
