I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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