Don't make out with my wife yet
I wish they made helmets for livers.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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