i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize