I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
