ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
