We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
