you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
