His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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