I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Congratulations! We have a period
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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