that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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