The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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