i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You've changed since you got that strap on
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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