The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
