I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Randomize
