Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
