Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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