Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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