next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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