You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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