Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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