im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
