you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
