Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
This girl is more easily done than said...
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
