Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
