hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
