O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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