i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
