the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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