good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
