I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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