haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
