it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
