hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
