Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
