jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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