Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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