she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
