I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
