Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize