Nicole vs. Life
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
