3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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