I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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