yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
