my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
