mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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