I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
What drink are we having for lunch?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
