BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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