okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
