Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
