i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
