I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
How does one acquire holy water?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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