I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
