these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
