you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
