ugly people sure do ruin things
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
