He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
