I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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