You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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