No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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