Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
