dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
