before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
