I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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