I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
