The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
