Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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