i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
As shirtless as possible
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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